short story #3

It didn't seem like much....

my mind wondered and secretly I made excuses about a whole bunch of nothing. I glanced outside and noted with a drear satisfaction that it was raining. At 2:23am this was a welcome pleasure to me.

Its early morning and I should be asleep. But I can't sleep. The sound of Billie Holiday's 'Strange Fruit' impregnates my atmosphere and I'm stuck at the kitchen table downing a glass of whiskey.

Its been more than a week since I've heard from her.

I smile to myself and take another swig of the whiskey...such strong stuff, but then again at this moment I desire to just be...well...numb.

My loft is spacious and filled with nothing but vintage furniture, artwork, and colors...incense; Patchoulli fills my air; its supposed to calm me, but i'm really on edge. I can't seem to get rid of the images of her walking away from me.

We've fought verbally before, but this time it all rang with the mark of finality.

I can remember her face...her face wearing no expression...no iota of feeling.

Her eyes seem to mirror a saddness mixed with resignation and she turned and walked away...away from the family reunion and out of my life. Even as I made my apologies to my folks and the rest of the family; I knew that this was the end.

I quickly headed back to the loft and caught her as she was walking out of the door. She smiled a sad smile and setting down her various bags; she kissed me.

"Frank, I can't continue to live like this. I can't continue to watch you destroy yourself and those around you with alcohol. I lived with a father that did it and I had enough then. I wont sit here and watch you destroy you, me and everything and body around you. I can't and I wont."

She kissed me and grabbed her bags and departed.

There was absolutely nothing I could do, nothing I could say. Seems like I made my bed and now I would have to lie in it.

So the moment finds me sitting at a table, Billie Holiday singing my pains, and me drinking...drinking and drinking; the very thing that made me loose the person so precious in my life.

I can't see anything right now...so I guess i'll continue to drown my pains in whiskey and perhaps tomorrow will provide me with a better plan of action.



©2005