Sitting at work...and all of a sudden; after reading one of my friends' blog, I get the idea to head back through yesteryear to a journal I used to keep back in late '04, early 05; I believe. And its amazing how I can see how infinitely talented I was...but so diluted with the debris of this age we live in to the degree of clean spring water being contaminated with metal particles and such coming from the pipe the water travels through. Decided to go back and re-read some of my past works...post them, after cleaning them up, IF they can be cleaned up and re-structured...and lets see what we get.
Short Story #2
I couldn't ask for more...in fact what I had was much, much more than I had ever anticipated.
But in the back of my mind I was aware that what I had and everything that came with this; was causing me such grief.
The thing was I had managed to fall in love with my best friend.
'A Problem?' some might say and some might ask; many might even go far as to say, 'how could that be a problem?'
Yeah, I was well aware of the old saying that 'friends make the best lovers' and in the beginning it was truly a beautiful union.
I had been accquainted with this person for close to ten years and each year I grew closer and closer.
Each year my feelings and emotions went well beyond just friendship and normal appreciation.
Guess what i'm doing? I'm sitting in my room staring out of my large window enjying the beauty of the rain falling. Yeap my day is composed of silence , an overcast sky and rain; that can easily be confused with the black rain falling inside my heart.
I press my face against the window pain and instead of seeing the rain drenched streets, umbrellas and the like...I see sunny days and days spent in each other's company.
I remember taking the metro to the Village movie theatre, or Almond's Bar.
I'm nostalgic of walks in the square of Dillon's park; even trips to the more fashionable, artsy part of the city; always together, always enjoying each other more and more.
During those golden days, I never allowed myself to worry about any thing. Nothing was more important than being around or with you...I mean, when you breathed , I would truly live; when you would blink your eyes I would truly see.
Then, I couldn't even begin to put a lable to what I was feeling...
Nah, I couldn't put a name to it.
Imagine my surprise when I finally realized what it was.
Can you empathize with how I felt when I woke up mad stupidly love-drunk?
Love-drunk off of you, my bestfriend and companion.
Nah, you probably wouldn't be able to understand if I brought this too you.
I'm sitting here now with a big ass smile on my face.
Man....
Oh! the lightning and crash of thunder brings me back to a reality known as the present.
All of this is alright I suppose; falling in love with you and all that jazz, but there is just one catch to this whole situation...
...how does a man explain that he's fallen completely in love with another man?
I couldn't ask for more...in fact what I had was much, much more than I had ever anticipated.
But in the back of my mind I was aware that what I had and everything that came with this; was causing me such grief.
The thing was I had managed to fall in love with my best friend.
'A Problem?' some might say and some might ask; many might even go far as to say, 'how could that be a problem?'
Yeah, I was well aware of the old saying that 'friends make the best lovers' and in the beginning it was truly a beautiful union.
I had been accquainted with this person for close to ten years and each year I grew closer and closer.
Each year my feelings and emotions went well beyond just friendship and normal appreciation.
Guess what i'm doing? I'm sitting in my room staring out of my large window enjying the beauty of the rain falling. Yeap my day is composed of silence , an overcast sky and rain; that can easily be confused with the black rain falling inside my heart.
I press my face against the window pain and instead of seeing the rain drenched streets, umbrellas and the like...I see sunny days and days spent in each other's company.
I remember taking the metro to the Village movie theatre, or Almond's Bar.
I'm nostalgic of walks in the square of Dillon's park; even trips to the more fashionable, artsy part of the city; always together, always enjoying each other more and more.
During those golden days, I never allowed myself to worry about any thing. Nothing was more important than being around or with you...I mean, when you breathed , I would truly live; when you would blink your eyes I would truly see.
Then, I couldn't even begin to put a lable to what I was feeling...
Nah, I couldn't put a name to it.
Imagine my surprise when I finally realized what it was.
Can you empathize with how I felt when I woke up mad stupidly love-drunk?
Love-drunk off of you, my bestfriend and companion.
Nah, you probably wouldn't be able to understand if I brought this too you.
I'm sitting here now with a big ass smile on my face.
Man....
Oh! the lightning and crash of thunder brings me back to a reality known as the present.
All of this is alright I suppose; falling in love with you and all that jazz, but there is just one catch to this whole situation...
...how does a man explain that he's fallen completely in love with another man?
©2005
.....i can remember the moments my love and appreciation for jazz increased; the time...the love and appreciation and desire to fall in love with that siginificant other (at that time) in some New Yorkish type vibe...the cool, smokiness of a jazz joint....the greeting and meeting of locs and intelligence...the singular pull of artism and creativity palpatatingly powerful...magnetic pulling...eyes glancing around aimlessly before locking on each other...the boldness of that one...approaching me. conversation in the key of James Baldwin with the wit of Countee Cullin...and we enjoy, enjoy, enjoy each others presence...those days were something else. But time passes and we mature, hopefully, so this is stop one along the road of memory/nostalgia!
Shalom,
~Bloodspeaks
No comments:
Post a Comment